I looked in the mirror through a river of tears and firmly resolved, "That's it! That's the last time you will cry like this!" I was 13 years old, and my mother had just left my father, my two younger sisters and me. I felt abandoned, and I had yet to experience my first visitation with the Lord Jesus.
My world turned upside down, and at that moment, the big sister who would strive to save the whole world was born. I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and vowed to never feel so hurt again. Today, I wish I could travel back in time to hold that child and tell her that she has no idea how her ashes would be turned into beauty.
There are moments in our lives when the enemy comes to crush us, but what he never seems to get is that we serve a Father who delights in raising up the weak and foolish. I had a lot to learn, so my teenage years were filled with striving and trying to feel the acceptance only a mother could give.
Fast forward a few years, I was serving in full-time ministry giving my all to heal the hearts of God's people, while mine was still feeling very broken. One evening I reached my limit! I fell before the Lord, crying out, "What do you want from me?" I was tired of feeling broken! He met me in my desperation, and I felt His hand on my shoulder. With the tenderest words I ever heard, He said, "I have called you to love my people, Colette."
Again, I was looking up through a river of tears, but this time, I was looking into Jesus' face. I left His presence with a mandate born of my brokenness. Had I not known so much pain, I would never have experienced so much love. And it is the same for you, child of God. For every scar you have, you also hold a pearl of great value.
When one of our Next Gen prophets wrote to Craig and me, asking how to deal with the hurts from their past before it undid their ministry, we responded with this episode, Uncover the Beauty in Your Battle Scars, on Next Gen Prophets with Apostles Craig and Colette Toach on the Charisma Podcast Network. I pray that this message uncovers your pearl of great value and brings you the healing for which you have been seeking God.
"We know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" (Rom. 8:28).
Colette Toach of Toach Ministries International, is the author of 40 books including the widely popular 8 Ways to Hear God's Voice. She works alongside her husband, Craig Toach, training their passionate Next Gen Prophet Team with divisions in South Africa, Switzerland, Mexico and the United States.
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