Jason Maxwell felt so ashamed of his same-sex attraction that he tried to kill himself. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit encountered him in that moment, and Maxwell's plan for suicide failed. But unfortunately, Maxwell took that as a sign that God approved of his homosexual desires.
"So I went headfirst into the gay lifestyle," he says on the "Charisma News" podcast. "I spent the next 15 years actively living in that identity. And it really was all about identity. For the first time, I felt embraced by a community that loved me for who I was and who I felt I was meant to be."
During that time, Maxwell led the largest home staging and design company in Texas and got involved in a relationship with a man that lasted 11 years. He and his partner attended a gay-affirming church, and in Maxwell's eyes, he was doing everything right.
But that all changed in 2010, when he realized he was serving a false Jesus.
While Maxwell was attending his brother's church in Centerton, Arkansas, the Holy Spirit came upon him in a way he had not experienced since the day he tried to kill himself.
"But this time was very, very different," he says through tears. "[Jesus] poured out His love for me, Jason Maxwell, not just for everyone else on the planet, because he loves us all the same. But instead of it being this broad concept, He was talking to me. He was telling me how much He valued me and how much He loved me and what He did for me 15 years ago when He saved my life, and what He did for me 2,000 years ago when He died on the cross.
"He knew all the challenges that were going to happen. He knew what was going to happen to me. And He was there with me that entire time, walking me through it, carrying me when I couldn't carry myself. But even though He was there, where I was wasn't where He wanted me and [the identity] I had embraced wasn't who He created me to be. And if I kept walking that path, my eternal life was in jeopardy."
That wake-up call was enough for Maxwell to leave his lucrative business and his partner of 11 years—all to follow his first love, Jesus.
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