Pastor Says Great Sex Doesn't Have to Be 'Shady'

'Fifty Shades of Grey' stars Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson.
'Fifty Shades of Grey' stars Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson (Universal/YouTube)

The Fifty Shades of Grey movie, releasing on Valentine's Day, has caused quite a stir, and many are questioning the behaviors portrayed in the film. Pastor Craig Gross, founder of bestsexlifenow.com, says the franchise's messages about sex have led some to believe they have to go to extremes to have great sex and has caused the sex industry to become increasingly dark and violent.

Many married couples feel trapped in lackluster sex lives, yet the fantasies presented in Fifty Shades of Grey seem like something they can never attain. Gross, co-founder of xxxchurch.com, wants individuals to know they can have great sex in their marriage and experience true intimacy without taking the extreme measures modeled by Christian and Anastasia.

Together with Dave Willis, founder of strongermarriages.org, Gross produced a new video series called Best Sex Life Now, intended to address Christian couples' top questions about the bedroom. Many of these questions, such as "Are sex toys OK for married Christians?" have been raised because of the Fifty Shades hype.

"With the attention Fifty Shades has gotten, a lot of couples are curious about that type of sexual behavior. They want to know if it is OK for them," said Gross. "As long as it's within a marriage and something you both want to try, there's nothing in the Bible that says you can't. However, there are dangers when you start engaging in extreme behaviors."

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Because of his work with xxxchurch.com, which ministers to those addicted to porn or in the porn industry, Gross has attended many adult trade shows throughout the years to witness to those attending. He has noticed that paraphernalia and subject matter has been getting increasingly dark in the last few years—something he largely attributes to the popularization of BDSM in Fifty Shades

"It's great to have fun in the bedroom with your spouse, but when it gets dark or harmful, that's a whole different level. If you love and cherish your spouse, I question why you would want to harm or degrade them," said Gross. "The great news is that you don't have to engage in those behaviors to have an exciting sex life."

In Best Sex Life Now, Gross explains that there is a lot of freedom for married couples to explore and experiment, but believes that fantasies like porn and Fifty Shades miss the point of sex.

"Sex is a gift from God, and it brings intimacy and connection to marriage," said Gross. "It is meant for you to show your love for your spouse, and how much you cherish him or her."

Best Sex Life Now encourages couples to open up with each other about the bedroom and make intimacy a priority in their marriage. More information about the series is available at bestsexlifenow.com.

Often referred to as the "Porn Pastor," Craig Gross is an author, speaker, pastor and revolutionary. Co-founder of xxxchurch.com, an outreach to men and women addicted to pornography and those working in the porn industry, Gross also spearheaded the development of X3watch, an accountability system now used by more than 1 million people. He has authored 12 books, including Eyes of Integrity: The Porn Pandemic and How It Affects You, Open, and Go Small. For additional information, visit craiggross.com. Gross is joined in Best Sex Life Now by his wife of 16 years, Jeanette.

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